


A Dead Boys Wish

by silkysilmae



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dead Marco Bott, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1302367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkysilmae/pseuds/silkysilmae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a tragic accident, Jean Kirstein lives his life haunted by the fact that his best friends death was his fault.  He loses contact with his friends, drops out of school, and basically becomes your average "teenage disappointment" just without the drugs. But one day, 10 years later his friend Marco comes back to him as something probably best described as a ghost and slowly, piece by piece, Jean starts to realize that maybe things aren't so bad after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Painful Truth

**8 days before**

Jean quickly climbed up the ladder to the tree house, hoisting his small eight year old body onto the small platform above before bursting through the curtain door where all of his friends were waiting.

“There you are, Jean! What took you so long?” Marco questioned. His freckled face lighting up once his friend walked in. Jean shrugged his shoulders and sat down in between Marco and Sasha.

“My mom was nagging me again.” Jean looked up and stared at all the faces around him. The whole group was here. Sasha, Connie, Annie, Bertholdt, Reiner, Mikasa, Eren and Armin. “But never mind that… Why did you call all of us here anyways?” Marco quickly got up from the small bench they were sitting on and went to the middle of the room of the treehouse where 3 tires were stacked up. Someone would always sit there whenever they were having their special meetings to plan out new adventures and games to play. Today was Marco’s turn as his small body climbed up onto the tires and he plopped down, digging through his bag.

“My father told me about a treasure here in the woods!” He announced proudly as he pulled a notebook out of his tiny bag. He held it up for everyone to see and they all gathered around excitedly. “He said that it can only be found when friends work together then gave me this journal filled with different clues.” Marco quickly turned through the pages and held up the small book for everyone to see before passing it around. Everyone huddled around, eager to get a glimpse at the book.

“What’s the treasure?” Eren asked loudly. Marco paused before shrugging his shoulders. “Dad said that we’d know it when we see it. All he said was that it’s supposed to huge and really amazing!” He exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air for dramatic effect. Everyone cheered and Marco jumped down from the tires as everyone threw out different theories.

“Maybe it’s gonna be a really big and fun playground!”

“What if it’s a time machine!?”

The whole group was full of energy and excitedly throwing out different ideas on what the treasure could be and how to find it as they flipped through the journal. As usual Armin was the one who was thinking of their search tactics and everyone else was throwing up their hands and volunteering to bring different tools and supplies they would need.

“I’ll bring the snacks!” Sasha cried out.

“I’ll bring the games for when we’re resting!” Connie followed.

“Me, Annie and Bertholdt can bring shovels in case its buried.” Reiner suggested.

The room was filled with the enthusiastic voices of the children as they planned out their newest adventure. Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie were making a list of the tools they might need. Armin, Mikasa and Eren were planning out which places everyone should look first. Connie and Sasha were mentally packing the food, games and comics for when everyone was resting for lunch. Marco and Jean sat together and talked about different ideas of what the treasure could be and what they would do with it.

Everything was going perfectly.

~~~

 

Jean and Marco walked along the path near the small stream that led away from the tree house and out of the woods. Jean needed to be home early today so the group all decided to start their expedition tomorrow so that everyone could be there and Marco decided to go home with Jean. They lived right across from each other so walked home together almost every day.

“Hey Marco…”

“Hm?”

“Do you think we’ll be able to find your dads treasure?” Marco paused and looked up at the sky, puffing out his cheeks slightly as he thought. After a few moments he turned to Jean with a smile.  
“Yea. My dad said that only really good friends can find it so we already have half of it done!” Jean smiled back and nodded. Marco was always optimistic and kept everyone inspired throughout their adventures. Without him, half of the things they discovered they probably would have given up on halfway. It was one of Jean’s favorite things about him.

The two boys turned on their street and separated to go into their homes, promising to walk back to the tree house together in the morning.

 

**4 days before**

Marco and Jean jogged up the path excitedly making their way to the tree house. The group of friends had been eagerly searching for the rumored treasure for four days now and they were just as eager to find it as they had been on day one. Although for some reason Eren was getting a little impatient. No one really paid much attention to it though since Mikasa was keeping him under control. But every once in a while him and Jean would start arguing and everyone would have to intervene.

Marco was the first to get to the ladder and he climbed up onto the platform and waited at the top for Jean. Once Jean made it up the two of them walked into the small treehouse together.  
Everyone was already there and they were already looking through their bags, checking to make sure they had everything before splitting up into groups to explore the woods once more. The two boys walked to where the circle was and sat down with their bags in front of them and began to check their supplies with the rest of the group.

“Hey Marco, how much longer do you think it’s gonna take?” Eren asked. Marco smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m not sure… but I feel like we’re close.”

“You always say that.”

“Because I always feel like we’re close.” Eren rolled his eyes and Jean glared at him.

“He’s such a jerk… why are you so okay with him speaking to you like that?” Jean whispered to Marco. Marco softly laughed and shook his head.

“It’s not a big deal, Jean. He’s just restless.”

Jean would have said more, but Armin announced that everything was ready and the kids set their watches for lunch and split into groups to continue their expedition.

**1 day before**

“This sucks…” Eren complained loudly. “We’ve been looking in these woods for days and haven’t found anything. Hey Marco, do you think your dad lied?” Marco hesitated at Eren’s comment and stuttered.

“O-of course not! I really feel like we’re about to find it!” Marco defended. Eren snorted obnoxiously and glared down at the floor. Jean glared and stood up.

“Stop talking to Marco like that.” He said loudly. Eren looked up and stared at Jean before standing up as well and returning the glare. Marco put a hand on Jean’s arm.

“Jean… it’s fine…” He said quietly.

“It’s not fine!” Jean said angrily, shaking off Marco’s hand. “He’s so impatient and he’s taking it out on you and I don’t like it and it’s making me angry and it is not okay!”

Eren scoffed and took a step closer to Jean. “I am not impatient-“ Eren hesitated when Mikasa grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He stared at her and she shook her head. There were a few moments of silence as everyone watched to see what the two of them would do before Eren shook off Mikasa’s hold and moved closer to Jean, glaring like his life depended on it.

“Maybe we haven’t found anything because you’re here.” He challenged.

“Huh? What is that supposed to mean?” Jean asked, accepting Eren’s challenge.

“You heard what Marco said. ‘Only really good friends can find it’. No one cares about you, we’d all have probably found it by now if you weren’t here!” Marco gasped and stood up quickly.

“H-hey… Eren, that’s-“

“That’s why you think we haven’t found it? Well maybe you’re the problem! Ever think of that, Jaeger?”

“G-guys this… this is really-“

“You think I’m the problem? You’re the one who’s a lost cause!”

“I’m a what?”

“You heard me. You’re a lost cause and even your mother is disappointed in you!”

“Eren!” Armin shot up from the bench and grabbed Eren by the arm but he wasn’t fazed.

“You should just leave, Jean! We don’t need you, your family doesn’t need you, no one needs you! Your mother probably wishes you weren’t even born!”

The room was silent, all eyes on Jean to see what he would do. Mikasa and Armin were pulling on Eren, trying to get him to sit back down and whispering unheard words to him as he smirked at Jean. Marco reached out and clutched the back of Jean’s shirt. Jean simply glared at Eren, opening his mouth as though he was about to say something, but then closed it. Then he turned and ran.

“Jean!” Marco cried, chasing after him.

“Go away, Marco!”

“No!”

Jean ran as fast as he could through the woods and down the trail. He could feel the tears stinging in his eyes but he kept running. He didn’t want anyone to see him crying. He didn’t need Marco to comfort him. He’d just keep running until Marco got tired and stopped chasing him, then he would find somewhere to be alone. He’d apologize to Marco tomorrow after he blew off some steam.

He jumped across the small stream that ran through the path and glanced behind him for just a moment. Marco was chasing him with an eager look. He didn’t seem like he would be easily swayed in pursuing Jean. Jean gritted his teeth and continued running, his feet pounding against the earth. He took a sharp turn from the path, taking a shortcut down a hill and spotted the border of the woods and where they stopped to reveal the street.

“Jean, please stop! Come back!” He heard Marco cry from behind him. He clenched his fists and ran out onto the sidewalk, turning left and running towards the main street. If he could make it to the main street he might be able to lose Marco in the crowds. He could hear Marco’s feet slamming into the ground behind him as he ran after Jean but he didn’t dare turn around.

Unfortunately for Jean, today was not a busy day. The crowds were not nearly large enough to get lost in and Marco was right on his heels. His lungs were burning and his legs were screaming for him to stop. Jean breathed heavily and started to doubt whether this was really worth it. Marco was his best friend, he wouldn’t care if Jean started crying. However out of the corner of his eye Jean spotted the crosswalk. The timer was about to run out before the light changed to green. Jean would be able to make it across in time but Marco would have to stop and wait for the light. Marco was caring but he wasn’t stupid. He wouldn’t try and run across a crosswalk when the lights green.

“Perfect…” Jean panted and made the sharp turn onto the crosswalk and sprinted to the other side at top speed. He reached the other side just in time and turned to see the light turn green. He spun around to give Marco a triumphant grin but it faded when Marco turned onto the crosswalk.

“J… Jean!” He cried in between breaths. Jean turned to see a truck moving quickly towards Marco. The driver wasn’t paying attention, he was looking at something else. Jean quickly turned back to Marco, waving his arms.

“Go back, Marco!”

“N..no! Jean, I-“

“Go back, Marco! There’s a-“

Before Jean could finish his warning the truck slammed into Marco. He watched in horror as Marco’s small body flew across the street. The truck skidded to a stop but Marco slammed brutally onto the ground and rolled until he came to a stop several yards away from the truck. Jean screamed and ran straight for Marco who wasn’t moving. He ignored everything else around him. All that was on his mind was Marco and how he was probably in so much pain right now and how it was all Jean’s fault.

Jean skidded to a stop, falling to his knees in front of his friends body. He choked up when he looked at Marco’s wounds and forced himself not to look away. The entire right half of his face was bloody and looked crushed. Bits and pieces of gravel were stuck in his skin and he was covered in cuts and scrapes. It looked like his left arm was broken, the bone jutting out from his skin but Jean could only pay attention to his face. Marco’s kind face that would always make Jean’s day better just from looking at it. The freckles that were placed so perfectly on his face were now covered by blood. Marco’s blood. His soft black hair that was usually so neat was messy and matted with his blood. Jean gulped and nervously put his hand on Marco’s shoulder.

“Hey… Marco…” He could hear the trucker running towards him. “Marco…” He could feel his throat burn and his tears flowing down his cheeks as he tried to choke out Marco’s name. “Please… Marco… say something…” He leaned in closer, about to put his hand to his face but he was suddenly grabbed from behind by the trucker.

“Don’t look, boy!” He told him but Jean wasn’t listening. He couldn’t stop staring at Marco.

“Marco, open your eyes! Say something! Please!” He screamed. He struggled against the firm hold of the man as he screamed and reached for his friends body. He tried to speak in between breaths and his sobs. He felt like he was going to puke. He could feel the world around him fall to pieces and his legs gave out beneath him. The trucker held him tightly and Jean beat his fists on his arm trying to get to Marco.

“It’s my fault… I’m sorry, Marco… please… I’m so sorry…. It’s all my fault…”

**7 hours before**

Jean stared at the tiled floor of the hospital with his father next to him. He was talking to Marco’s father but Jean wasn’t listening. All he could do was stare blankly at the floor, constantly reliving the accident over and over inside his head. His throat hurt from his screams and the sick feeling in his stomach refused to go away despite how badly he wished he could just throw up. He didn’t look up until his father knelt in front of him. He looked to his father then to Mr. Bodt who was holding his wife. Both of them were crying.

“Jean…” He looked back to his father blankly. “Jean… The doctor doesn’t think Marco can make it…”

“I want to see him…”

“Jean, please…”

“I have to talk to him… I need to apologize…”

“He can’t hear you, Jean…”

“I…” Jean swallowed back his tears and looked back down to the ground. “I know…”

**5 hours before**

Jean prodded his food with his fork, staring out the window to where Marco’s house was. He thought that if he stared long enough he might get to see Marco, with his kind and freckled face completely intact, run out of the woods and up his porch steps. Then he would turn and wave to Jean before going inside, like he always would whenever they didn’t walk home together. He held onto that hope. The hope that this was all just a nightmare, an illusion created from the summer heat but deep inside he knew it was impossible.

He could feel his parents eyes on him but he couldn’t bear to meet their gaze. He was scared that if he did he might start crying again.

“Jean, aren’t you going to eat?” He heard his mother meekly asked. Jean shook his head.

“Not hungry…” He mumbled. “I’m going to go to my room…” He slowly got up from the chair, bringing his plate to the kitchen. His parents were quiet as he slowly walked out of the room and turned to go up the stairs. He walked into his room and closed the door behind him before falling onto his bed. He wrapped the covers around him and shoved his face into the pillow. Without even changing his clothes, Jean fell asleep, silently praying for this nightmare to end and for him to wake up to Marco’s smiling face before they left to go find the special treasure he was so eager to find.

But the closer he got to sleep, the more real Marco’s death seemed to become.

**3 hours after**

Jean was woken up by his father. He groggily sat up on his bed and yawned. He rubbed his eyes and turned to his father who was holding the phone and staring sadly at him. Suddenly all of the events from the previous day flooded through his mind.

“Jean… Uh, Marco he uh…” Jean shook his head and looked down. His father stood awkwardly in the doorway before he quietly closed the door. Jean put his head into his hands. He was trying so hard to cry but all he could feel was this sick feeling in his stomach and his scratchy throat. His head was throbbing and he wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep and to never wake up again. He didn’t want to do anything without Marco. They always did everything together.

Jean looked to the small table that was next to his bed. Next to his clock was a framed picture of him and Marco. The two of them were standing with their arms around each other’s shoulders with goofy grins on both of their faces. He gritted his teeth and slowly picked up the photo and ran his fingers over the right side of Marco’s face. He stared at it, trying to get the image of his friends bloody and ripped face out of his mind. How could someone just disappear so easily? It just didn’t make any sense.

Jean let out a heavy breathe and clutched the photo close to his chest. He bent over and rocked back and forth, the tears finally coming back to him.

“I’m sorry Marco… I should have just stopped for you… I was so stupid, it’s all my fault… I’m so sorry Marco…” He whispered in between quiet sobs.

“Please just come back…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to message me directly you can go to my tumblr: cool-ghoul-kaneki.tumblr.com \o/


	2. I'm manly as hell, shut up

Jean was awoken by the constant shrill screeches of his alarm clock. He groaned and turned over onto his side to glare at the small, beeping object before slamming his hand down onto the button, silencing the sound. He let out a sigh and relaxed his arm, letting it slip and fall from the alarm clock and down to hang over the edge of the bed. The sun glared through his window, lighting up his small bedroom. He had a T.V on the wall and in front of it around the center of the room was a coffee table and loveseat and a small desk in the corner. Any other space was occupied by random things he chose to throw onto his floor like clothes or trash he was too lazy to take downstairs. His walls were basically bare, save for a calendar and a few posters of some bands he liked and one or two video game posters he’d gotten for free from some magazines.

 He stared at the wall, contemplating whether or not he should get up today. School started today, but he didn’t feel like going at all.He went to school enough to at least be able to continue on to the next grade, but he usually just stayed at home, only doing enough of his schoolwork to just barely pass his classes. Every once in a while an administrator would send some random student in his class to come and give him some work and try to coax him to come to school regularly like a normal student. Did it ever actually work? Well, no, but they still try.

                He slowly rose from his bed, resting his feet onto the cold wooden floors before yawning and stretching out his back. He looked over to his bedside table, relaxing when his eyes rested on the picture of him and Marco as kids, a soft smile making its way onto his lips.

“Mornin’ Marco…” He mumbled before yawning again and rubbing his temples in an attempt to rub some consciousness back into his brain.

                He stood up, sheets wrapped around his shoulders, and walked over to his closet. The sheet dragged behind him, running itself over the dirty clothes and trash that decorated his floor. Jean made a mental note that he should at least clean up a little bit if he wasn’t going to go to school today.

                Not really caring what he wore, Jean dropped the sheet to the floor and took any random shirt off of its hangar and grabbed his hoodie from his desk, balling up his sheet and tossing it back onto his bed.

                Just as he was about to leave and go get some breakfast Jean’s phone buzzed loudly on his desk. He walked over, picking it up and unlocking it to look at the text he had just received and walked out of his bedroom to go down to the kitchen. He looked at the sender seeing the all too familiar name.

                **From: Armin**

_Hey Jean. Are you coming to school today?_

                Jean smiled slightly and hit the reply button.

                **To: Armin**

_Nah. Gonna stay home today._

                Armin had been checking up on Jean ever since everything happened. He was kind of like Jean’s moral support, but he mostly just texted him to make sure he was taking care of himself properly. He would also come over every few weeks or so to help Jean with the homework that he had missed out on whenever he skipped. Armin was a good friend and was the only person from back then that he frequently contacted.

                Everyone else split into their own little groups. Sasha and Connie stay in touch, Annie, Bertoldt and Reiner are almost always together and Eren, Mikasa and Armin have been attached by the hips but they were like that when Jean met them so it’s not really very surprising.

                Every once in a while whenever Jean can’t sleep he sits and wonders what life would be like if they had stuck together after the accident. 3 weeks after they had all met in the treehouse and agreed that it didn’t feel right to continue their adventure if Marco wasn’t there. Especially since Marco was the one that had started the whole thing in the first place. So after Eren apologized to Jean, he left the treehouse and never went back. It’s probably still in the woods filled with all of their books, pillows, blankets and all of the little things that they had brought to make it the ideal hide out.

                Jean opened the pantry and pulled out some instant ramen. He filled up the kettle and sat on the counter, fooling around on his phone while he waited for the water to boil. It buzzed in his hand, a notification popping up in the middle of the screen. Armin texted back.

                **From: Armin**

_Okay… I’ll come over Friday to help you out with the homework. There are some formulas that I think you might have trouble with._

                Jean heard the kettle click and jumped down from the counter, texting his reply while simultaneously pouring the water into the ramen cup.

**To: Armin**

_k. see you friday._

                He let out a deep sigh and stuffed his phone into his back pocket and replacing it with the ramen and a fork. Time to go back up to his room and play videogames, sleep and maybe clean his room in an attempt to feel that he’s not a _complete_ disappointment to society.

~~~

                Jean glared into his pantry. His mom was supposed to go grocery shopping a few days ago but her work has kept her busy. The shelves were practically empty and Jean was in desperate need for some kind of food.

                “Well… might as well just do it for her…” He mumbled, walking to the front door and digging through their side drawer to find some cash. Once he found enough to buy at least enough food for a couple more days until his mother went, he slipped on his shoes and opened the front door. The hot sun glowered down at him and he locked the door, walking down the sidewalk and onto the street. He hesitated when he saw a group of kids coming his way. They were walking home from school, judging by the backpacks that hung from their shoulders. He clicked his tongue and kept walking, hoping that he wouldn’t have to run into any of his old friends walking home from school.

                Managing to not run into anyone he knew on the way there, Jean walked into the air conditioned store and grabbed a basket.

                “Just gonna buy something for dinner and a couple of snacks…” He mumbled, walking through the aisles.

                He grabbed just about anything that looked good. Chips, crackers, cookies, a pie. Should probably grab some fruit so that he can at least feel like he’s making healthy choices. As he was picking out a few apples he heard an all too familiar voice call out to him.

                “Jean? Jean is that you?” He took a deep breath and turned his head to see Eren and Mikasa standing behind him. They didn’t look very different from how they did 8 years ago but Mikasa’s hair was shorter. Jean missed her long black hair but he never said anything to her about it. And Eren… well, Eren was Eren.

                “Hey…” He greeted, giving a small nod. “Long time no see…”

                “Yea… You’re still skipping school?” Eren asked awkwardly. Jean nodded and looked down to the floor. He hated running into everyone else. Don’t get him wrong, he loved all of them and liked to know that they were doing okay, but it was always really awkward when they did run into each other. Then when they left Jean would get a dull ache in his chest.

                The three of them stood there in silence for a while, not sure what to say to each other. About a minute passed before Mikasa spoke up.

                “Why won’t you come back to school? We’re all starting to get really worried…” Her eyes softened and she adjusted her bag. Jean shifted his feet and sighed.

                “Sorry… I just can’t bring myself to go yet…” He said slowly. He never knew how to properly respond to that question. He wanted to go to school, he wanted to make friends, he wanted to live his life, but when he woke up he just couldn’t do it.

                He heard Eren groan and Jean glared slightly at him. “Can’t you at least try!? Armin’s seriously worried about you, you know? He’s been trying to find a way to motivate you to get your shitty life together for 6 months now!” Eren yelled. Jean snorted and rolled his eyes.

                “Well you can just tell him that he doesn’t need to. I can get my life together myself whenever I want.” He retorted angrily before spinning on his heel and marching away.

                “Jean!!” Eren called from behind him. He heard Mikasa mutter a few words to Eren but he ignored the two of them and went straight to the checkout. He bought what he had in his basket even though he hadn’t finished his shopping. To be honest, he just didn’t want to run into anymore of his old friends.

                He didn’t think he’d be able to withstand the pain in his chest if he did.

~~~

                Jean quickly burst into his house and closed the door behind him. He dropped the bags on the counter in the kitchen and grumpily grabbed another ramen cup. Pushing the button on the kettle to boil the water he began to lazily toss the snacks he had bought into their respective places. His parents still weren’t home so they couldn’t really yell at him for it.

                Hearing the click of the kettle he poured the water into the ramen cup and marched back upstairs to his room. He sat down on the loveseat and turned on the T.V. He sat there for a long time, not actually registering what was going on in the show he was watching. He kept replaying his argument with Eren over and over in his head.

                Eren was right. His life was shitty and he most certainly wasn’t going to be going anywhere with his current situation. He went through the majority of his middle school life as the kid in the back of the class with no friends. He didn’t have any classes with the others, and he avoided them during lunch, but they assumed that he just needed some space and let him be. He needed time to recover.

                He went through the normal activities of any other person in middle school but he never felt devoted to anything. He felt as though he was an empty shell and he was wasting his time with schoolwork and he couldn’t stand clubs. So he gave up.

                In the last semester of the 8th grade Jean broke down in his room and gave up. He decided it wasn’t worth it. Both of his parents worked so it was easy to trick them into thinking he still went to school. When they asked how school was he would mumble a small “fine” and go back to his room. He started to feel a little better, but good things only last so long.

                “And now I’m just a bum who mooches off his parents…” He muttered. He groaned and turned off the T.V.

                “Fucking hell…” He fell onto his bed and shoved his face into his pillow. He turned his head and stared at the picture on his bedside table. He smiled and reached over to his light switch.

                “’Night, Marco.” He said softly before switching off the light.

~~~

                Jean awoke to the obnoxious beeping of his alarm clock once again. He groaned and slapped the button to turn it off. Yawning, he snuggled back into his blankets.

                “Mornin’ Marco…” He grumbled. He heard his blankets shuffle and a body move closer towards him.

                “Mmm… Morning…” A soft voice replied.

                Jean blinked, staring at the poster on the wall in front of him. Wait a minute.

                Letting out an extremely manly (not really) scream, Jean waved his arms and in a desperate movement to face the stranger in his bed and to get away from said stranger, fell off of his bed and fell to the floor with a _thud._

He grunted and frantically wrestled with the sheets around his legs that were keeping him from escaping the possible axe murderer in his bed. After realizing that fighting his fate was fruitless, he shot up to face whoever had snuck into his bed, the words already coming out of his mouth.

                “ _WHO IN THE FU-“_ Jean stopped midsentence. His mouth hung open and he stared at the young boy who was staring at him with wide eyes. His bedhead was causing his soft black hair to curl up every which way and his brown eyes were looking him up and down.

                “Um… Jean, are you okay?” He asked gently, scooting up to the side of the bed and leaning towards Jean. Jean just continued to stare at him. His lightly tanned skin was dusted with hundreds of freckles and his soft gaze gave Jean an extreme feeling of nostalgia. He resisted the urge to reach up and touch the young man’s face and gulped, leaning closer to him.

                “M…Marco…?” He said with disbelief.

                “Yea…?” He answered. Before Jean could do anything else, Marco gasped and jumped back. “Wait, you can see me!?” He asked excitedly. Jean gave him a skeptical look and cleared his throat, dropping his head.

                “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” He mumbled. “I haven’t dreamed about you in so long… I thought they were done…”

                Marco leaped forward and grabbed Jean by his shoulders. “No! This isn’t a dream, I swear! Well… I could be dreaming, but let’s not think about that!”

                Jean stared at him for a long time, studying his features. This was definitely Marco, no doubt about it. He just looked… older.

                “But… no… no, you’re dead. I watched… I saw…” He stumbled over his words and took a deep breath. “How are you…”

                “I’m not sure, to be honest. But you can see me now… Let’s focus on that…” He said enthusiastically. Jean fought the urge to throw his arms over Marco’s shoulders and cry but he wasn’t going to do that. Not yet, at least.

                However, before either of the two could say anything more they were interrupted by the loud desperate begs of Jean’s stomach. Jean instinctively put a hand to his stomach and glared at it slightly. Damn stomach, we were having a moment. Talk about selfish.

                “Oh, are you hungry?” Marco asked, climbing off the bed and pulling Jean up off the floor.

                “I guess… I didn’t really eat much yesterday…” He mumbled. Marco simply nodded and jogged down to the kitchen while Jean followed him slowly. He still couldn’t believe that he just woke up next to his dead best friend and now they were marching off on a quest to the kitchen, and Marco wasn’t even questioning it.

                “I think I’m missing out on something…” He said quietly as he turned the corner to see Marco pulling some eggs out of the fridge. Jean stopped at the doorway and just watched him. His expression was soft and gentle and he moved around the kitchen as if he had been living there for years. It wasn’t until Marco looked up to ask him a question did Jean walk up to the counter.

                “You like your eggs scrambled, right?”

                “H-huh? Oh… yea…” Jean replied. Marco nodded and was about to start cooking before Jean grabbed his arm.

                “Wait a minute… you can cook?” He asked skeptically.

                “Well, kind of. But scrambled eggs are really easy to make…” Jean nodded but still watched him closely to make sure he didn’t burn down the house. Jean pulled one of the bar stools up to the counter and sat down, watching Marco.

                “I can’t believe this…” He thought aloud. Marco paused and looked over to Jean.

                “Huh?”

                “My dead best friend is right in front of me cooking me breakfast…” He said gently. Marco laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head.

                “Yea… I guess that is kind of weird…” He agreed, turning back to the eggs.

                “I just… I can’t wrap my head around this… I have to be dreaming, I mean…” Marco tensed up and Jean saw him glance to the side sadly. “I watched you die…”

                Marco stopped moving and stared at the eggs, a sad look in his eyes. The two stood in silence, Jean staring at Marco, waiting for some kind of answer and Marco standing still over the stove.

                Suddenly, Marco stood up straight and cleared his throat, pasting a smile to his face.

                “Yea, but we shouldn’t dwell on something like that.”

                “But-“

                “Eggs are ready!” Marco interrupted, dumping the eggs onto a plate and quickly setting the plate in front of Jean. Jean didn’t even glance at the eggs but just continued to stare at Marco. He scoffed and shook his head.

                “Why now…” He mumbled.

                “I-I’m sorry…?” Marco asked nervously.

                “Why did you show up now… I’ve been grieving and blaming myself for 8 years, Marco. 8 fucking years. But here you are, waking up next to me like it’s nothing and then just getting up and making me fucking eggs!” He yelled, slamming his fist onto the table, tears stinging at his eyes. He stared at the eggs in front of him, slowly blurring from his vision due to the tears that threatened to fall.

                “Jean… I didn’t just disappear for 8 years…” Marco said softly, his tone going gentle.

                “What…?”

                “I don’t remember much from when I died… I just remember it hurting a lot… I remember blacking out and seeing doctors all around me… I remember seeing my parents crying… but then I was lying next to you as you were crying and apologizing to that photo you had always kept. I kept calling out to you, I screamed your name so loud I thought I’d never be able to talk again. I couldn’t even touch you…” Marco paused and looked at his hands. He looked as though he was in pain just from remembering it.

                “Jean, I’ve been beside you for 8 years. I’ve been watching you cry yourself to sleep, sometimes even crying with you. I watched you drag yourself through school, day by day. I watched you break down in your room before you stopped going to school. I’ve been greeting you back every morning and wishing you sweet dreams every night. I’ve watched as your life slowly fell apart, but I couldn’t do anything to help you.”

                Marco paused and Jean stared at him, letting the tears fall down his face. Marco moved his hands to his face and wiped away the tears that were about to fall, hiding his face for a moment before pulling them back to reveal that stupid smile.

                “But this morning… this morning, you could finally see me, and I could finally touch you, and I was so happy… I was so happy, Jean.” Marco began to break down in tears and his breaths turned ragged. Jean let out a sob and jumped from the stool, letting it clatter to the floor and he did what he had been earning to do ever since he saw Marco.

                He flung his arms over Marco’s shoulders and the two fell to the floor in a pile of wet tears and desperate sobs.

                They stayed like that for several minutes before Marco sniffled and loudly cleared his throat.

                “This isn’t very manly of you…” He sputtered out.

                “Shut the fuck up I’m manly as hell.”

                Marco let out a loud laugh and wiped away his tears.

                “You should probably eat those eggs now…”

                “Yea… Oh, Marco.” Jean said, pulling himself away from Marco. Marco gave him a questioning glance and Jean gave him a gentle smile.

                “I missed you.” Marco smiled back and pulled Jean up from the floor, pulling him back into a hug.

                “Missed you too.”


	3. A new beginning

Jean observed Marco who was kneeling in front of his T.V, going through all the CD’s and videogames in his drawers. He picked up all of the cases, giving each one a look before putting them back and picking up a new one. Jean smiled and shook his head, standing up and kneeling down next to Marco.

                “What are you even looking for?” He asked, digging through the nearest drawer.

                “No idea…” Marco laughed lightly, picking up another case. There was a short silence as Jean stared at Marco. He still wasn’t quite over the whole ‘my dead friend just came back and made me eggs’ thing. “I guess I’m just remembering.” Marco said quietly.

                “Remembering?” Jean raised an eyebrow.

                “I had watched you play all of these games and watch all of these movies. But you never finished them…” Marco glanced over to Jean. “Why didn’t you ever finish anything?”

                Jean shrugged. “I don’t really like endings.” He said bluntly, turning back to the drawers. Marco stared at him before lightly leaning over to bump shoulders with him. Jean grunted and bumped him back, shooting him a glance.

                “Let’s have a movie night tonight.” Marco suggested, picking up another DVD.

                “Huh?”

               “Let’s have a movie night. But you have to watch the ending.” Marco turned so that his whole body was facing Jean. Jean snorted and tossed a case at him.

                “What if I don’t want to watch the ending?” He replied, staring into Marco’s eyes.

                “But the endings the best part!” Marco yelled defensively. “Don’t you want to know what happens?”

                Jean snorted and rolled his eyes, hiding a smile. “Yea sure, whatever nerd boy.” He teased, pushing him over. Marco let out a squeak, falling to the thankfully soft floor. He laughed, rolling onto his back and propping himself up onto his elbows.

                “Are you really one to talk, Jean?” Marco teased back, grabbing one of the pillows off of the couch and throwing it at Jean. Jean laughed, catching the pillow before it hit his face.

                “The hell is that supposed to mean?!” He challenged, lurching towards Marco. Marco let out a squeak and threw his arms up, rolling away from Jean before his attack could hit. Jean laughed and hit Marco’s chest with the pillow. Marco let out a loud grunt followed by hearty laughter before slapping his hand against Jean’s chest.

                “No fair! I’m unarmed!” He yelled, pushing Jean down onto the floor.

                The two continued, shoving each other around and throwing insults to one another only to be followed by their laughs. They didn’t stop until both of them were left breathing heavily on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

                “Who won?” Marco asked.

                “Probably me…” Jean joked, laughing through his nose. Marco rolled his eyes and smacked Jean’s chest lightly.

                “Yea sure, whatever.” He let out an airy laugh and the two fell silent once again. The room was filled with just their breathing. Jean turned his head to look at Marco. He had closed his eyes and had a peaceful expression. Jean continued to stare, taking in everything about Marco. The way his hair curled everywhere when he hadn't brushed it, how his freckles dusted his cheeks like stars, how his skin glistened from his sweat. Everything. He still couldn’t wrap his head around how this happened, but right now he didn’t care. The fact that Marco was here and that he was alive was enough for him. Marco turned over onto his side, opening his eyes and staring back at Jean.

                “Hey… Jean…” Marco asked quietly, breaking the silence. Jean waited a moment before answering, admiring Marco’s brown eyes as they stared into his own.

                “Yeah?” He replied, turning onto his own side and facing Marco.

                “Do you think our tree house is still there?” He asked calmly. He ran his hands along Jean’s carpet, and Jean watched, memorizing every aspect about his hands.

                “Probably… I never went back though, so I don’t know… one of the others probably did though…”

                “….Can we go?” Marco asked quietly. He stared down at the carpet where he was rubbing with his hand. Jean stayed quiet, turning his gaze away from the freckled boy. He turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He let out a long sigh before sitting up.

                “I guess it couldn’t hurt…” He mumbled. Marco shot up from the floor, a huge dumb grin on his face.

                “Really!?” He yelled all too excitedly. Jean rolled his eyes, throwing a pillow at his face.

                “Shut up you nerd. C’mon, let’s go.” He stood up, grabbing his jacket and slipping on a pair of shoes. He glanced over to Marco who was impatiently waiting by his bedroom door. Jean snorted, opening his door.

                “You’re like a little kid.”

                “Well, technically, I still am a kid.”

                “Yea yea, whatever.”

                Jean opened the door, looking up and down the street before turning towards the forest. Marco happily fell in step beside him, his grin far from faltering. Jean huffed, running a hand through his hair and trying not to smile. Marco looked at him, confused.

                “What?”

                “Nothing…” He shook his head and walked ahead of Marco.

                “H-hey, Jean! Don’t walk so fast!” Marco walked faster to catch up to Jean.

                “What, can’t keep up?” Jean teased.

                “Oh please, when we were little I used to beat you in all of our races.” Marco bragged, pushing Jean’s arm playfully.

                “Ha! Yea, you _used_ to you fucking geezer.” Jean started to walk faster.

                “Excuse you, I could beat you no matter how old I am, you slug.”

                “Oh yea? You wanna bet?” Jean shoved Marco, causing him to lose his balance before sprinting ahead.

                “Wha- Jean! You cheater!” Marco burst out laughing, sprinting after him. “I’ll still beat you!”

                “We’ll see about that, old man!”

                “I’M ONLY A YEAR OLDER THAN YOU, YOU ASS!”

~~~

                Jean reached the tree house, gasping for breath. He was hunched over, trying to catch his breath. He glanced up to Marco who didn’t even look tired, a smug grin plastered onto his face. Marco beat him.

                “God damn it…” Jean stood up, still breathing heavily, and looked right into Marco’s eyes.

                “Don’t.”

                “….I beat you.”

                “Shut the fuck up.”

                “You look really tired.”

                “Just get up in the tree house so we get this dumb nostalgia thing over with.” He pointed to the ladder but Marco just continued to stare at him with that really dumb smile.

                “You need to catch your breath first?”

                “Get your ass up there.” Jean pushed Marco lightly on the shoulder towards the ladder and Marco laughed, grabbing the ladder with one hand.

                “Okay, okay, I’m going.” He pulled himself up onto the first rung, pulling himself up and slowly making his way up the ladder.

                “How are you not tired? We just sprinted a fucking block and then up a goddamn hill. A rocky hill. That I fell down on. A lot.” Jean stared up at Marco, rolling his eyes when he heard him snort.

                “Guess it’s one of the perks of being dead. No lungs to breathe and no muscles to tire.” He hoisted himself up onto the platform, turning to look at Jean. Jean stared at him for a few seconds before sighing and grabbing the ladder.

                “Well I don’t think that race was fair then. So let’s just say I won because I probably would have won.” He pulled himself up, grabbing the next rung and working his way up the ladder to where Marco was waiting for him. Marco laughed and swung his legs over the edge.

                “Yea, sure. Guess we’ll just have to rematch when it’s fair, then.” Jean pulled himself up onto the ledge, sitting down so that his legs hung over the edge next to Marco.

                “I’ll be holding you to that.”

                “I’d expect nothing less of you.”

                Jean smiled and turned his head to look at Marco. The two stared at each other and Jean started to memorize all the freckles on his face. Some of them even looked like they could form constellations if he could just get a marker. He’d have to do that when Marco was asleep. They stared at each other for a long time before Marco finally broke the silence.

                “We going to go in?”

                “Wha-… Oh, yea. Let’s go.” Jean pulled his legs back onto the platform and stood up. He turned towards the door, waiting for Marco. Marco stood up and walked over to the door. Jean shifted his feet, a little nervous to finally go back into that tree house. But this time he had Marco.

                Marco placed his hand onto the wood and pushed on it lightly. It creaked open, revealing the dark room inside. Marco hesitated before taking a deep breath and walking inside, Jean following slowly behind.

                Marco pulled back the curtain, putting the old fabric behind a nail that they had put there all those years ago. Jean pulled back the other one and the two stared out the little window and at all the trees surrounding their childhood home.

                “…Ready?” Jean took a deep breath and glanced at Marco.

                “Yea.” They both whirled around and Jean let out a small breath. He could practically see Armin standing on top of the three stacked tires, Mikasa and Eren standing below him, looking up at him earnestly as he planned out their next adventure. Reiner and Bertholdt would be sitting on one of the small benches by the other window, directly behind Armin. They always seemed like they weren’t really listening, just off in their own world together, but most of their greatest ideas came from those three. Marco and Jean would be sitting on the floor against the wall next to the tires, Marco listening to Armin while Jean would be goofing off, probably playing on his Gameboy or reading a comic or just talking with Marco. Sasha and Connie would be hanging posters and streamers everywhere they could get to on the walls. They always claimed it brightened the place up and would spark inspiration for ideas.

                But now the streamers littered the floor in pieces. Any remaining on the walls were tattered and their once vibrant color dulled. The posters however were still stuck firmly to the walls, the only real damage being the faded colors and the filth coating their surfaces. Marco took a single step forward, taking the whole thing in. Jean figured he was still imagining everything like how it used to be and decided it to be best to just let him walk around by himself and in silence. He watched as Marco ran his hands along the walls, feeling the rough paper of the streamers on his fingertips, letting any that came loose to drift to the floor. His foot hit a small box next to a bench, and he stared at it before stooping down and picking it up. He examined it in his hands before gently popping off the lid, a cloud of dust bursting into the air. Marco waved away the dust, reaching inside. He laughed softly before holding it up for Jean to see.

                “Look, it’s some of those comic books Connie used to bring.” Jean’s eyes widened and he walked quickly over to Marco.

                “Dude, you serious? I thought he would have taken all those home!” He pulled one out of the box, flipping it open and examining the pages. He remembered this one, it was one of his favorites as a kid.

                “I guess he forgot a box…” Marco said quietly, thumbing through one of them. Seeming satisfied, he turned to continue looking around the small room. He pulled apart the curtains on the other window and finally turned to look at the center of the room. The stack of tires. He walked slowly over to them, running his hand over the dusty rubber. Jean put down the comic books and turned towards Marco. He had a distant look in his eyes as he moved his hand back and forth over the rubber. Jean watched, not sure what he should say. Not sure if he should even say anything. Luckily, he didn’t need to when Marco laughed softly, then started to laugh louder.

                “I can’t believe that our way of determining a leader was a pile of old tires.” He laughed and pulled himself up onto the tires, sitting down on the edge. 8 years ago his legs would have been swinging over the edge, only just barely reaching the bottom of the second tire. But now his feet rested lazily on the floor.

                “Well, we were just kids.” Jean replied, walking over and sitting down on the edge of the tires directly behind Marco. He leaned back so that their backs would be touching and let out a deep sigh.

                “Being here is really fuckin’ nostalgic…”

                “You’re telling me…”

                “Y’know… I wonder what it would be like if nothing happened…” Jean muttered quietly. Marco was quiet for a few moments before he leaned his head back onto Jean’s shoulder, turning his head so that he could look up at him.

                “What do you mean?”

                “I mean… what if you didn’t die? What if we never had those dumb ass fights and what if we were all still friends. What if we still met up here every day. Maybe we wouldn’t have adventures anymore, maybe we would just do homework. Armin would help out all of us with math, me and Eren would wrestle every few days until Mikasa had to step in and calm us down and then we’d just spout a few playful insults until we were happy and we’d do one of those stupid handshakes or we’d hug or something and just act like nothing happened. What if we just had huge sleep overs right here in the tree house and Annie would be the queen of horror stories that’d leave us all screaming. What if Reiner would teach us all how to fight and Bertholdt would have to always remind him to not be too rough because we all fucking sucked and he was some expert. He probably is that guy was a fighter for sure. What if Sasha and Connie would bring us all their videogames and comic books and we’d have tournaments to see who was the ultimate gamer and me and Eren would always brag about it being one of us but then Sasha would wipe the fucking floor with us and we’d wallow in self-pity for 10 minutes but then we’d get over it and declare war on her or something.” Jean clenched his fists, staring up at the ceiling. His voice began to waver and he could feel the tears pushing at the corners of his eyes.

                “Jean…” Marco took his head off his shoulder and moved over so that he was sitting next to Jean. He grabbed Jean’s arm and gave it a tight squeeze.

                “What if me and you were still together every day and we’d always be in the same science class every year for some weird reason but we didn’t care and we’d always fuck up our experiments and then go to lunch with everyone else and tell them how angry the teacher would always get whenever something blew up or some dumb shit like in the movies. What if everyone would always laugh at how fucking stupid we were but we wouldn’t care because we were together and we were just so fucking happy. What if I went to school every day with you and we’d walk home and I’d go to your house and we’d do whatever the fuck we wanted to do until it was time to go to the treehouse and we’d have so much fucking fun with everyone and we’d all be so fucking happy.” Jean sniffed and let out a small sob. Marco moved closer and pulled him down so that his head was resting on Marco’s chest.

                “What if everything didn’t go to shit…” He gripped Marco’s shirt with one hand, using the other to pull him closer. Marco didn’t say anything and wrapped his arms around Jean’s shivering body. He rubbed his back, pulling him closer into his chest.

                “We can still fix it…” He whispered. Jean shook his head.

                “It’s already ruined… Where would I even begin…”

                Marco opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by loud voices outside of the tree house. He turned his head towards the door and Jean quickly shoved Marco away, wiping his tears away with the sleeves of his jacket.

                “Who the hell could that be?” He mumbled, walking over to the window. He leaned out, staring out into the woods trying to find where the voices were coming from. When he spotted them, he stepped back from the window quickly and ran over to Marco.

                “It’s Sasha and Connie. Let’s go.” He grabbed Marco’s arm, pulling at it.

                “Wha- Jean!! No!” Marco pulled his arm out of Jean’s grip. “What do you mean ‘let’s go’? You literally just gave a huge speech about fixing everything and now that you have a chance you’re going to run?”

                “I don’t see how Connie and Sasha coming up here and seeing their friend that suddenly disappeared 8 years ago with his dead best friend is going to end in some huge happy fucking reunion.”

                “Jean!!”

                “Don’t fucking ‘Jean!!’ me it’s going to go to shit and you know it. Let’s go.”

                “… too late…”

                “What?”

                Jean spun around to see Connie and Sasha standing in the doorway, staring in disbelief at Jean. He quickly let go of Marco’s arm and moved in front of him, clearing his throat.

                “O-oh… um… hey…” He stuttered out.

                Connie and Sasha stood there, their mouths making perfect ‘o’s as they stared at Jean in disbelief. He shifted his feet, starting to feel a little uncomfortable and cleared his throat again. But he couldn’t think of anything to say. He just stared at his friends he hadn’t seen in 8 years as he stood in front of his dead best friend who just came back for no apparent reason 6 hours ago. Clearly nothing to be worried about, right?

                “Holy shit… Jean, bro, is that you?” Connie finally said. He fast walked right up to Jean and grabbed his shoulders, Sasha close on his heels.

                “Oh my god, Jean, it’s been so long! I mean, we heard about you from Armin at school but…” Sasha faltered and Jean just nodded his head.

                “Y-yea… it’s been a little weird for me lately… sorry…”

              “Oh shit! Dude, we didn’t walk in on anything important here, did we? You probably haven’t been here in forever…” Connie held up his hands and laughed nervously, backing away. Sasha’s eyes widened and she looked up at Jean worriedly.

                “Uh… no, we were just kind of talking… I already did my reminiscing you didn’t interrupt anything.” Jean stepped to the side to reveal Marco, who gave a small wave. Connie and Sasha looked towards where Marco as but instead of gasping and running up to Marco like Jean thought they would, they just gave Jean a weird look, looking back and forth between Marco and Jean. Connie looked over his shoulder at Sasha but she just shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

                “We? What do you mean?” Connie asked. Sasha rolled her eyes and pinched his arm. He let out a yelp and looked at Sasha who gave him a condescending stare.

                “Huh?” Jean looked back and forth between them before looking down at Marco, who looked twice as confused and slightly… concerned.

                “It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t leave yet! We have so much to talk about! Maybe you’d like to help me and Connie? We’re gonna clean up the tree house and see if we can start using it again! We have plans to have a reunion soon, it’ll be totally cool!” Sasha said excitedly, grabbing Jean’s hands. Jean stared into her excited eyes in disbelief, then to Connie who was grinning excitedly, rubbing his arm softly where Sasha pinched him.

                “Uh… I don’t know…” Jean looked down at Marco who had a huge grin on his face.

                “Jean, start here.” Marco said excitedly.

                “What?”

                “You said you didn’t know where to start, but it looks like Connie and Sasha have already started some plans. Just start here.” Jean stared at him, not sure what to say. He looked at the three of them, thinking about it. Sasha’s smile seemed a little more forced and Connie was looking at him like he was on drugs, but when he thought about it, it didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

                “Yea… we’d love to help.”

                “…Great! But we can start another time. Let’s catch up. What have you been doing all these years? You probably have some great stories to tell!” Sasha exclaimed as she pulled Jean over to the nearest bench, pushing him down. She sat down and rested her chin in her hands, staring up at him earnestly. Connie quickly joined her, sitting down and leaning towards Jean.

                “Well… If you’re so interested…” Jean stared at Marco who gave him an encouraging thumbs up. His smile looked like it could last forever, and it probably would if this went well.

                “I… I think I’d like that…” He said quietly, not breaking his gaze with Marco.


	4. Dodge Ball and Dangerous Girlfriends

                Jean yawned, slapping his hand onto the button on the top of his alarm clock, ceasing the loud and obnoxious beeps that so rudely interrupted his sleep. He grumpily sat up on his elbows, rubbing his eyes.

                “Mornin’…” He grumbled. Marco rolled over next to him, snuggling deeper into the blankets and letting out an annoyed grumble.

                “Alright, sunshine, don’t push yourself too hard.” He teased, slapping Marco’s leg. Marco groaned and kicked Jean in his side.

                “Go to school and let me sleep…” He mumbled.

                “Yes, your royal highness.” Jean announced sarcastically, pulling back the covers and pushing himself off the bed. He walked over to his closet and changed quickly. When he finished he grabbed his bag and set it on top of his desk, looking through it to make sure he had everything he would need. Once he was satisfied, he said a quiet ‘goodbye’ to Marco who was still curled up underneath the covers, his black hair poking out of the covers curling every which way in matted tangles. After receiving a loud groan in response, he quietly closed the door and made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

                Once he had made his lunch and ate a quick breakfast, he walked to the door, yelled into the mostly empty house that he was leaving and walked out the door into his yard. Jean looked up at the dull sky before he began the short walk to school. He stopped for a moment after feeling a buzz in his back pocket.

                **From: Armin**

_Coming to school today?_

                Jean smiled and took a deep breath, hitting reply.

                **To: Armin**

_yep. things r bout to change_

                **From: Armin**

_Oh, are they??_

**To: Armin**

_you betcha. ill c u in class._

                With a huff of content, Jean put his phone into his back pocket and quickly continued on the usually dull march to school, an excited grin on his face. Today was going to be a good day, he could feel in his bones.

~~~

                Jean speed walked down the hall, a grin plastered onto his face. His classroom was just a few feet away, he could hear Eren’s obnoxious voice from where he was. He shared classes with Eren, Armin and Annie. He only ever saw the others at lunch, but they all sat in separate places with their own groups.

                With a deep breath, Jean turned into his classroom and scanned the room to find Armin. He was sitting in the front, his notebook open and ready for note taking. As usual he had everything he needed neatly placed on his desk, but he had abandoned it and instead was standing several desks down where Eren was, well, being Eren.

                “’Sup.” Jean set down his bag on the desk in front of Eren, sitting down in the chair and turning to the two of them. Annie was sitting by herself, a few desks up.

                “Good morning.” Armin turned to Jean, with an expectant look in his eyes. Eren nodded at Jean and crossed his arms, leaning forward with the same look.

                “…What?”

                “I dunno, you tell me.” Eren replied, resting his chin on his hand.

                “The hell?” Jean looked at Armin hoping that he would provide some kind of explanation.

                “You said things were going to change. Are you going to elaborate, or is it a surprise?” Armin explained. Jean rolled his eyes and smirked.

                “Something like that. I’ll explain it another day, but I need to talk to Annie.” Jean said, digging through his bag and pulling out a slip of paper.

                “Annie? You haven’t said a word to her in 3 years, what would you need to say all of a sudden?”

                “Did the horse face get a secret crush?” Eren teased, smirking.

                “Shut up, Jaeger.” Jean stood up, walking up the aisle of desks to where Annie was sitting, leaving Armin and Eren to exchange theories of Jean’s sudden change in mood.

                “Hey, Annie…” Jean stood awkwardly by her desk, trying to decide on how to properly say this to her. She looked up, a look of surprise showing on her usually expressionless face once she saw who it was.

                “Um… There’s this thing and, well… I-I need to give this to Reiner… but I don’t have classes with him or anything… so… uh…” Jean cleared his throat and held out the paper. “Think you could give this to him?”

                Annie stared at the paper for a moment before taking the paper.

                “I don’t see why I couldn’t… What is it?” She asked, putting the paper into her binder.

                “Oh! Well… it’s kind of a surprise, so… Oh, right, tell Reiner it’s a surprise and not to tell anyone.” Annie stared at him, her expressionless gaze making Jean feel a lot more uncomfortable than he should be. He used to be used to those gazes, but he had forgotten how eerie they were.

                “Okay.”

                “O-okay? Okay…” Jean stood there, staring at Annie who stared back. “That’s… all I needed to say, so… I guess I’ll just… later.”

                “Bye.”

                Jean speed walked back to his desk and quickly sat down. He let out a deep sigh and started to get out his notebook and the homework he needed to turn in.

                “That was painful to watch.” Armin commented.

                “Painful? That shit was a train wreck.”

                “Shut the hell up, Eren.”

                Armin laughed and Jean heard Eren let out a huff, but before he could make any more comments the bell rang and Mr. Smith stood up from his desk to start class.

~~~

                The lunch bell rang and Jean closed his notebook and shoved it into his bag. He took a few notes but mostly doodled.

                “I wonder if Marco’s okay…” He mumbled.

                “Huh?” Jean spun around to see Armin standing there, a slightly worried look on his face.

                “Oh, nothing… Shit Armin, you need to stop sneaking up on people like that, it’s damn creepy.” Jean joked, trying to change the subject. Armin didn’t look very convinced but laughed along anyways.

                “It’s a curse. Will you eat lunch with us today?” Armin pointed to the door where Eren was talking to Mikasa excitedly, probably about some new video game he found online or something. Mikasa seemed to be half listening and was fondling with her scarf with a soft expression.

                “Yea, I’ll tag along.” Jean grabbed his bag and followed Armin to the door. Once Eren noticed the two of them coming he looked kind of frantic and stuttered on his words before laughing loudly.

                “I mean, it was totally dangerous but it was a piece of cake for me! Heh heh…” He then cleared his throat. “Oh, hey Armin. Horse face coming too?”

                “Yea… but what were you just talking about? Eren, you’re not doing something you shouldn’t be, right?” Armin asked, grabbing his arm with a concerned look.

                “What? No, of course not! I’m just…” Eren looked at Mikasa with pleading eyes but her expression didn’t change. “I’ll tell you during lunch, don’t worry about it!” Eren quickly laughed it off and walked out the door.

                “Oka- ah, Eren! Wait!” Armin ran up to catch up to the fleeing boy and Jean rolled his eyes. He looked at Mikasa who was staring at the two as they ran down the hall, smiling.

                “What’s up with mr. anger issues?” He asked. Mikasa just shrugged her shoulders, a faint smile still on her lips.

                “Well, shit…” Jean muttered. “Guess we better go catch up to them. You guys still eat in the same spot?”

                “Yea… Outside by the tree. Do you need to buy anything?” Mikasa asked as she started to walk down the hall.

                “Nah, I’ve got some food.” Jean answered, following her.

~~~

                “A video game?”

                “Y-Yea! It’s this great game I found online. You fight these giant things called titans and they’ll eat you if you’re too slow so it’s really dangerous.” Eren explained, taking a bite of his sandwich.

                “Oh, okay. Well, better than you fighting something dangerous in real life. What’s it called?” Armin asked. Eren tensed up and looked around.

                “Um… I forget…” He mumbled. Jean chuckled, taking a sip of his water.

                “Dumbass…” He mumbled under his breath.

                “What was that?” Eren challenged, a fire in his eyes.

                “Hm?”

                “You said something just now, sounded like dumbass. You got a problem, horse face?”

                “Who, me?” Jean replied, putting his hand to his chest. “I would never say something like that! I’m offended!”

                “Yea, yea asshole.” Eren scoffed and leaned back up against the tree. “Whatever you say.”

                “You two… honestly…” Armin chuckled and shook his head. “If you two get put on opposite teams in the dodge ball tournament, it’ll really be a show.”

                “Dodge ball tournament?” Mikasa looked up. “When’s that?”

                “I don’t remember anything about that…” Jean mumbled.

                “Well, you were absent. I guess Mikasa’s teacher forgot to mention it but there’s going to be a dodge ball tournament today during 8th period. I think it was some kind of reward to the students for doing well on our exams.” Armin explained.

                “I hope Eren gets nailed in the face with a dodge ball.” Jean announced loudly, laughing.

                “I hope you get hit right in your jewels. I hope _I_ hit you right in your jewels.” Eren quickly responded.

                “Not if I hit yours first.”

                “Will you two _please…_ ” Armin let out a sigh before laughing. “Lunch is almost over, finish your food.”

~~~

                Mr. Smith cleared his throat, catching the attention of the class. He smoothed back his neat, blonde hair and his blue eyes scanned the class.

                “Alright, class. It’s time for the dodge ball tournament. Anyone who wants to participate will go to Hanji who will assign you to a team. Everyone else will sit in the bleachers. The winning team gets to compete against the teachers. I trust that you all will behave yourselves, so with that go ahead and make your way down to the gym.”

                The room quickly filled with the clattering of chairs and excited voices as the students rose to leave the room. Jean and Eren walked together up to the front of the class to meet with Armin.

                “Hey, Armin, you gonna compete?” Eren asked, throwing his arm around Armin’s shoulders.

                “I guess I might as well. Maybe we’ll end up on the same team.”

                “If Hanji’s making the teams, I’d hesitate to compete.” Jean joked. “But it’ll be worth it because I’ll get to throw balls at Jaeger.”

                “Throw all you want but you’ll never hit me.”

                “Alright you two, save it for the battle field.”

                The three walked into the gym that was filled with all the separate classes. Everyone was in their groups of friends talking loudly and there was a line on the far side of the gym in front of a table where Hanji was standing, taking kids names. Mikasa waved at them from the bleaches and they made their way over to her.

                Mikasa met them at the bottom of the bleachers and yelled over the loud voices of the people around them. “I’m guessing you’re all competing?”

                “Yea! You?”

                “I’ll compete, but we should hurry, the lines getting long.”

                Jean lagged behind the three of them as they moved their way through the crowd to the end of the line. “Oh man… I’m gonna have some stories to tell once I get back home… I hope Marco still likes my story telling…”

~~~

                Jean and Mikasa ended up being separated from Eren and Armin, but they agreed to cheer each other on in the bleachers before leaving to go find the rest of their teams.

                Each team consisted of 6 players. Jean’s team only had a few people he actually recognized, but that was fine. When they found the rest of the players, they all sat together and one of them (his name was Thomas) started to discuss tactics and plans with everyone, but Jean wasn’t really listening. Everyone was pretty into the game and things were going pretty great so far.

                “Hey, you!” Someone tapped his shoulder and he turned his head to see a girl he used to have a class with in 6th grade. Her brown hair was pulled back with a red clip and her piercing brown eyes were complimented well with her tanned skin and freckles. He couldn’t quite remember her name, though. It was a foreign name that he had never really cared to learn. Next to her was a smaller girl who he actually knew. Her name was Krista and she was basically a goddess in this school. The freckled girl had her arm draped lazily around Krista’s shoulders.

                “Name’s Ymir and you’re Jean, I know. Listen, Sasha and Connie told me and Krista here about what the three of you are planning. They told me to talk to you.”

                “Um… Okay, Ymir, talk about what?”

                “You guys need help cleaning up that tree house or whatever, right? Well they asked us to help. Something about it being a secret and needing outside help or some shit.”

                “Oh, right… that… Well, thank you?”

                “Ymir’s trying to say that we need someone to show us where it is. We asked Sasha and Connie, but they said that they couldn’t for secret reasons and that you would take us. But I guess you didn’t know, I’m sorry. Will you please show us the way?” Krista explained. She was as polite as ever.

                “Uh, yea, sure. I’m busy this week, though, so it’ll have to be next week.”

                “Alright, thank you, Jean!”

                “Yea, sure…” Before anyone could say anything else the girl on the other side of Jean, Mina, tugged his arm.

                “Our team got called, let’s go!”

                “Oh shit, who are we up against?” He looked over to the other side of the court but the other team hadn’t gotten there yet.

                “Team Titan.”

                “What the hell??”

                As Jean’s team gathered on the other side of the court, Jean eagerly watched for the other team. He noticed a group of 6 heads moving through the bleachers and grinned. Eren was leading them.

                “Oh, hell yea.”

                They scattered around their side of the court and Jean examined each of them trying to figure out who he was up against.

                Eren, Armin and Connie. No big deal. But then Jean recognized the last three. Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt.

                “Oh hell _no.”_

                Jean looked at his team. Ymir, Krista, Mina, Thomas and Mikasa. Well, at least they had Mikasa.

                “All right! Remember the rules, and play nice! Let’s play!” Hanji blew a whistle, signaling the start of the game. Both teams rushed to the center of the gym where the balls were set in a neat line. Each player grabbed a ball and quickly retreated farther into their side of the court. All except for Krista who remained right by the line. Her expression was completely different from her usual kind smile and soft, gentle eyes. Jean couldn’t quite describe that expression until Krista hurled her ball right at Connie who unfortunately did not get a ball. Poor, defenseless Connie was not prepared for that red ball hurdling towards him. He probably didn’t even have the time to comprehend what was happening before the ball slammed into his stomach. He let out a loud yelp that turned into painful moans as he crumpled to the floor.

                Now Jean recognized what that expression meant. It meant she was out for blood.

                “Yea baby! That’s my Krista!” Ymir let out a whoop, clearly proud of her tiny and surprisingly dangerous girlfriend.

                Mikasa took advantage of the fact that the other team members were stunned and not paying attention to the other team members and ran up closer to the middle, throwing her ball. It flew through the air, aiming right for Bertholdt’s chest.

                “Bertl!!” Reiner yelled out to him and Bertholdt yelped, holding up his ball in a defensive pose. Mikasa’s ball bounced off of his and everyone snapped out of their stun and balls were being hurled back and forth across the gym. The students in the bleachers were going crazy, making it hard for Jean to focus, but he didn’t mind. He only had two things on his mind right now.

1)      Don’t get hit

2)      Hit Eren as hard as possible

So far, Thomas and Connie were the only ones out. Krista and Mikasa were focused on taking out Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt while Jean, Ymir and Mina focused on Eren and Armin. It didn’t take long for Eren to be left vulnerable and Jean was quick to jump on the perfect chance to get him. He gripped his ball and threw it with all his might straight for Eren. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted to him.

“HEY EREN!!!”

Eren turned his head and before he could react, the ball hit him square in the face. He flew backwards and fell to the floor, a loud thud echoing throughout the gym followed by the enthusiastic voices of the crowd.

“SHIT YEA!!” Jean threw his arms up in the air, using a few precious moments to celebrate. Those few moments were a mistake though because when Jean opened his eyes all he could see was a red blur as a ball flew straight towards him.

“OH SHI-“ before he could do anything it hit him in the chin, causing him to whirl backwards.

Well, he kind of deserved that.

~~~

                Unfortunately, Mikasa’s power and Krista’s viciousness was not enough to win the game. Needless to say it was still a great game despite Connie throwing up, Eren’s nose bleeding and Jean’s bruised chin. Team Titan ended up battling the teachers, but the French teacher, Levi, a small and rather intimidating man, gave the teachers a bit of an advantage. Plus Jean is pretty sure the entire staff at this school was trained in some kind of dangerous fighting style or something because they are the most vicious and powerful dodge ball players he had ever seen.

                “How’s the chin?” Armin asked, handing him an ice pack.

                “Well, good news is that I’m still hot as hell.”

                Armin laughed and sat down in the chair next to him.

                “How’s Eren?”

                “He’s bragging about how he let you do it to make you feel better and how it didn’t actually hurt at all, so I think he’s fine.”

                “That guy never rests… How do you put up with it every day?”

                “I don’t know… I kind of like it when he’s like this. I guess it’s just comforting to know that he’s still got so much energy.”

                Jean laughed and leaned back in his chair. “Yea, alright, whatever.”

                The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Armin turned to Jean.

                “Jean… Did something happen?”

                “Huh?”

                “It’s just… You’re so… happy… today. You’ve laughed more today than I’ve heard you laugh in the past 8 years. You and Eren are fighting like you used to. You’ve just seemed better ever since yesterday. Did something happen?” Armin stared at him. Jean was quiet and he looked down at the floor, not sure what to say.

                “Man… I was really depressing, wasn’t I? I mean, I knew I had a problem but… I was pretty fucked up, wasn’t I?” He muttered.

                “So something did happen?”

                “Yea… something really good happened. Something that I hope lasts forever.”

                Armin stared at him. The two sat there, staring at each other for a long time. Armin smiled softly and patted his knee, standing up.

                “Good. I’m really happy for you Jean.”

                “You’re not gonna start getting all sappy, are you?” He teased. Armin laughed.

                “Just a little.”

                “Well if you’re gonna start crying go cry on Eren’s shoulder, mines reserved.”

                “I’m not sure what that means, but you got it.” The two laughed and Armin got up and walked over to the door. He stopped and turned to Jean.

                “But really, Jean. I’m really happy that you’re getting better. I’m going to go back to Eren, for some reason he’s only ever good when I’m around. He’s probably driving Mikasa up the wall.”

                “…Yea, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

                Jean watched Armin leave and sighed, looking down at the floor.

              “I should go… Marco’s waiting for me. I can’t wait to tell him about the game, he’ll probably laugh his damn ass off…” He mumbled, grabbing his bag. He walked out of the nurses office and down the hall. When he got outside and into the courtyard, he saw Armin walking away with Eren next to him, talking enthusiastically about something and Mikasa trailing behind.

                “Something is definitely goin’ on with Eren…” He laughed and shook his head, walking in the opposite direction to home.

~~~

                Jean opened the door to his room, throwing his bag next to his desk. Marco was sitting on the bed, reading a comic book that Jean used to read when he was little.

                “Jean! You’re back! How was school?” Marco perked up, putting down the book and scooting up to the edge of the bed.

                “It was great. We had a dodge ball tournament.”

                “Oh no.”

                “Oh _yes._ Scoot over, I’ve got so much to tell you.”

                _Today was a good day. But coming home to this freckled dork makes it a whole lot better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really struggling with this chapter so I am so happy to have gotten it out of the way. School is starting in 3 weeks so it feels great to get an update out before then.  
> Shout out to this post for helping find something to do with this chapter!  
> http://mama-snek.tumblr.com/post/94009827587
> 
> I hope you all got a giggle out of this. And to those who are about to start school, good luck, I hope this year is a good one!!


	5. Rememberance

               

     One rather uneventful week later, Jean finds himself staring in impatience at his bedroom wall while waiting for Ymir and Krista. They found him during lunch to discuss details since the dodgeball tournament didn’t allow them to, and he earned a few confused looks from Armin and Eren. Mikasa just looked damn concerned.

               

     “This is gonna be fuckin’ awkward…” He mumbles. Marco doesn’t look up from the book he’s reading and instead just chuckles.

               

     “You say that every time you’re forced to socialize…” He teases.

               

     “And surprise, every time I’m right.”

               

     “Mhm.”

               

     “And what’s with Sasha and Connie? What kind of ‘super-secret business’ prevents them from making a fucking map or some shit?”

               

     “Mhm.”

               

     “I don’t even know what they’re doing… and I’m supposed to be in on this too.”

               

     “Mhm.”

               

     “…. Are you even listening to me?”

               

     “Mhm.”

               

     “You sure ‘bout that, freckles?”

               

     “Mhm.”

               

     “Marco’s a lil’ bitch.” Finally, Marco looks up from his book.

               

     “Excuse me?”

               

     “Well, Jean, that kind of attitude certainly wouldn’t pass well with visitors. You should practice on that.” I roll my eyes and scoff.

               

     “Whatever, mom.”

               

     As if on cue, the doorbell rings. I jump up from the couch and run down to answer it. Sure enough, there stands Ymir, her arms crossed and Krista smiling politely.

               

     “Took you long enough. C’mon, the quicker the better.” I scowl at her and slip on my shoes. I call out that I’m leaving and close the door behind me.

               

     “No need to be so excited.” I grumble. Ymir lets out a ‘hmph’ but still smiles.

               

     “At least you’re quick with comebacks.”

               

     Was that supposed to be a compliment? That… That’s good, right? Whatever.

               

     “Did Sasha and Connie say anything else about what they wanted you two to do?”

               

     “Nope.” Ymir said bluntly, kicking away a branch as they turned onto the forest path.

               

     “We don’t know why they want us to do this, what they’re going to do when we’re done, we don’t know anything. We were actually hoping you could tell us…” Krista said softly. Jean stopped and spun around, a look of confusion on his face.

               

     “Wait… so you two just accepted this job without knowing jack shit about it? I knew you were a nice person, but that’s a little much, don’t you think?” Krista laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck.

               

     “Not exactly… We kind of owe them a few favors. If it was anyone else Ymir would have refused.” Jean looked back and forth between them and they returned his stare with an expectant one.

               

     “It’s kind of a long story…” He said grimly. “And a depressing one… I don’t know if you really want to know.”

               

    “Actually, we’re pretty damn interested.” Ymir said loudly. They turned off the path and the treehouse gradually came into view. Jean didn’t really pay any attention to it earlier, but now that he was really looking at it this place really was a dump.

               

     “Well, the treehouse plays a pretty big part.” He replied and slowly climbed up the ladder, walking inside ahead of the two girls. They quickly followed and slowly walked through the doorway, taking in the place.

               

     “Yep, it really is a dump…” Krista elbowed Ymir and shot her a warning look. Jean laughed quietly and sat down on the stacked tires.

               

     “You don’t need to sugar coat it… All of us stopped coming here 5 years ago save for Connie and Sasha, but of course they aren’t exactly the cleanest people around. It’s still in good shape though…” Jean took a deep breath. “Are you sure you want to hear all this? It’s some pretty fucked up shit… Pretty depressing, too.”

               

     “Only if it’s alright with you.” Krista gave him a soft smile and pulled Ymir down onto a bench. Jean stared at the floor, sorting through his thoughts. Now that he thinks about it, no one ever really asked him about the incident. He’d never talked about it, probably because everyone pretty much already knew.

               

     “Only one person has told me that he likes my story telling, so don’t be surprised if it’s shit.” He took one more deep breath, and words started to pour out of his mouth. He didn’t even really think about it, they just came out, his tongue rolling around them. It was weird, but relieving.

               

     “It all started about 6 years ago… We all were about 8 years old or so, and this was our hide out. Me, Sasha, Connie, Mikasa, Eren, Armin, Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt... and Marco. We’d go on adventures through the woods just to see what we could find. We took it pretty seriously too, everyone had jobs and responsibilities. We almost had our own little government in here. If anyone was sitting on the tire tower, we had to listen. Whoever made the suggestion was our leader. Not bad for a bunch of kids if you ask me.”

               

     “One day Marco climbed up onto the tires and announced that his father had heard of a treasure that only a group of close friends could find. Naturally, we were all super excited and started the search immediately. We searched for a pretty damn long time, and Eren was getting impatient. We’d had treasures that took a while to find before, but this one was taking way longer. He started to doubt Marco and would occasionally snap rude remarks. I was pretty protective of Marco so it didn’t take much before I snapped.”

               

     “Me and Eren fought a lot but it was always friendly fights, it was just how we showed our friendship towards each other. But… that time was different. The others tried to get us to calm down but Eren was really angry and said some really shitty things. You’ve probably heard about my temper. Well, it wasn’t much better when I was 8, so I was really hurt and ran off. Marco of course was worried and chased after me while everyone else stayed behind with Eren.”

               

     “Of course I was a little shit, so I just kept running and running even though I could hear Marco screaming my name over and over. He was a pretty fast runner you know. He used to want to be on the track team, so obviously it took everything I had to keep ahead. I just didn’t want him to see me cry, I didn’t want him to think I was weak. I was supposed to protect him, I swore to myself that I would protect Marco for reasons I can’t even remember anymore.”

               

     “I knew I wouldn’t be able to outrun him so instead I tried to lose him. I saw a crosswalk where the light was just about to go green. I knew Marco wouldn’t run out into traffic so I took the chance and sprinted across. Turns out he wasn’t really paying attention, neither was the driver. He got hit and died 7 hours later in the hospital. Naturally, I blamed myself. I refused to leave my room and would just curl up in the corner of my bed with a picture of him, crying and moaning his name and a million apologies.”

               

     “When I finally left my room, I went back to the treehouse. Everyone was there and when they saw me, they all just started bawling. I wasn’t the only one who blamed myself. Eren grabbed me and started screaming ‘it was my fault, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ over and over again. Armin was holding onto Erens shirt and saying it was his fault because he couldn’t control Eren. Mikasa was shaking in a corner, her face shoved into her scarf. She didn’t say anything, but I think she blamed herself like Armin did. She thought that if she had controlled Eren, none of it would have happened. The others were apologizing for their own reasons, but I had stopped listening. I just didn’t want to hear anything else because I knew whose fault it really was.”

               

      “Needless to say, we stopped coming here. We didn’t look for the treasure anymore because it wasn’t right. It was Marco’s treasure and without him finding it would be too painful. The whole ordeal hurt all of us, I was just the only one who let it control me.”

               

      “So now Sasha and Connie want to bring us all back together. It was purely coincidence that I even got involved in the plan, but I’m happy I did. We’ll have a massive barbeque right here and I can try and fix everything.” A heavy air hovered throughout the room and Jean blinked away the few tears that threatened to fall. When he looked up he saw Krista squeezing Ymir’s hand with misty eyes. Ymir was staring out the window with a mournful look on her face.

               

      “Sorry… didn’t want to make you upset…” He mumbled. Krista shook her head with a sniffle and looked back up to Jean.

               

     “No… don’t feel bad… it’s our own faults for asking.”

               

      “We should get to work… there’s a lot to do. Thank you for showing us the way, Jean.” Ymir said slowly, standing up.

               

     “No, thank you… I’ll go get you guys some supplies…” Jean announces, jumping off of the tires. They nod in thanks and Jean walks out. He climbs down the ladder and is a few yards away when Krista suddenly runs out, shouting his name.

               

     “The blanket covering the top of the tires… What do you want us to do with it? It’s filled with holes…”

               

     “Just replace it, we might end up using the tires to make a table for the food, though.” He shouted back. Krista nodded and was about to go back in but stopped and whirled back around.

               

     “Another thing, it wasn’t your fault, Jean! You shouldn’t beat yourself up so much about it!” She shouted. Jean smiled and waved goodbye, turning to leave.

               

     “Even if you say that… how am I supposed to believe it so easily?” He mumbled under his breath.


	6. Who is there to blame but me?

       The day was beautiful with barely a cloud in the sky and a sun whose rays kissed your skin with the perfect temperature. Jean stared out the window listening to Marco hum a happy tune from the table. With a smile he set two plates onto the table and slid into the chair next to Marco who silently thanked him. Jean stared at Marco as he ate and began to relay all the moments prior to this perfect moment. Today was the day, Jean thought to himself. Today he could fix his mistakes and change everything for the better.  
  
        Ymir and Krista had been working on the tree house everyday for almost two weeks while Jean, Sasha and Connie went over their plan with Reiner. They had agreed on having a barbecue for the reunion and lucky for them, Reiner's dad just so happened to be highly skilled in the art of grilling. While Reiner prepared food with his dad, Sasha and Connie planned out activities and games that could be used to break the ice that would inevitably be present the night of the reunion. Jean, unfortunately, was given the job of making sure everyone was there. He wasn't sure if he'd even succeeded, but as far as he knew everyone would be partying until the sun rose from its hilly grave.  
  
        As though on cue a knock echoed throughout the house from the front door. Marco grinned at Jean excitedly and he grinned back before jumping from his chair and jogging to the front door. He opened it to see Sasha and Connie standing on his front step with smiles that stretched from ear to ear. Everyone was excited, as they should be.   
         
        "You ready for this, man?" Connie asked, lightly punching Jean's shoulder causing Jean's laugh to echo through the air as he nodded.  
  
        "Hold on, we'll be out in a minute." He spun around on his heel and quickly went back to the kitchen. Marco helped him clear the table and despite Marco's usually neat demeanor it was still done sloppily, leaving the sink a mess. Ignoring it the two boys ran to the front door and Jean slipped on his shoes. Connie and Sasha were giving each other weird looks but Jean chose to ignore it. They'd been doing that ever since he met them at the tree house three weeks ago so he decided that it was just one of those weird quirks they had. 

         With a skip in his step he followed Sasha and Connie down the road to the tree house. When they turned from the street and onto the quiet wooden path he felt Marco reach out and grab his hand, giving it a squeeze. His chest grew warm and he smiled, turning his head to meet Marco's eyes. He gave Jean a small, seeming nostalgic smile before letting go of Jean's hand and letting his own fall limply back to his side. Jean wiggled his fingers, slightly missing the warm feeling but ignored it as the tree house came into view.

         They had two hours to set everything up before people started to show up. Sasha and Connie climbed the ladder at amazing speed and dashed through the new curtain that Ymir and Krista put up. He could hear the banging of boxes and board game pieces as they pulled out all the games to set up in random places around the small room. Jean pulled his gaze from the tree house and wrapped his hand around Marco's wrist, gently pulling him towards the old grill and table they had left there last week. Together they pulled off the cover and got to work heating it up for Reiner.

         They were there for 10 minutes before Reiner came up the path lugging a large duffle bag. He called out and waved to Jean and Jean waved back before pushing himself up off the ground and jogged to meet him halfway while Marco stayed behind to tend to the fire.

         "You guys got everything ready yet? Annie and Bertholdt tend to be early. Really early." Reiner asked once Jean was in hearing distance.

         "Yea we got the grill going for you. How early we talkin' here?" Jean raised an eyebrow and walked beside him trying to help with the duffle bag but it didn't seem like Reiner needed it.

         "When I left Bertholdt had Annie on the way to pick him up so they could walk together so they'll probably be here within the hour." Reiner laughed and set down the duffle bag on the table next to the grill and began to pull out various foods and meats he'd brought. Jean groaned and ran his hand through his hair. He heard Marco giggle and he gave him a small glare before laughing as well.

        "Well we're all ready out here but we haven't checked the inside yet." Jean glanced up at the tree house. It had been silent for quite a while now and he wondered if they were even still up there.

        "They didn't help you with the grill?" Reiner questioned. Jean shook his head.

        "They've been up in the tree house setting up games ever since we got here." Reiner looked up at the tree house with a confused expression.

        "But you said-"

        "Reiner!" Sasha leaned out the small window, shouting over Connie's loud protests to the action. Sasha ignored him and grinned widely, waving excitedly to Reiner who waved back. He glanced at Jean once more before walking to the ladder.

        "Guess we should see what they've been up to." He muttered and pulled himself up the ladder. Jean grabbed Marco's wrist again and pulled him to the ladder. He stopped and stepped to the side, letting go of Marco to do a dramatic bow and gesture towards the ladder.

        "Ladies first." He cooed giving Marco a wink. Marco giggled and punched him in the arm gently before climbing up the ladder. Jean watched him go up and finally went up himself once Marco reached the final rung. He waited for Jean on the small platform and helped pull him up once he got to the top. Jean thanked him and the two of them walked into the tree house together to observe the work of their friends.

         The place looked great. Fairy lights were strung up all around the walls that illuminated the freshly cleaned floor. Colorful Seat pillows had been set down on all the benches giving the place a warm feeling. The walls were decorated with newer posters that Sasha and Connie had provided. The place looked generally the same when they still used it it was just looked... newer and more modern. The only new thing was the billboard that hung in the middle of the far wall directly in front of the door. It had nothing on it save for one large piece of paper that had a single word on it: memories. It gave Jean a warm feeling as he looked around and finally he set his eyes on the pile of tires in the center. Surprisingly, they had been untouched save for the placing of a large board that was covered by the same old blanket. Jean assumed that was their way of making a table but he questioned as to why they didn't replace the blanket like they did everything else.

        "This place is amazing..." He whispered.

        "Yea..." Marco scanned the room over and over again and reached for Jean's hand again. This time, he kept it there and Jean welcomed the sensation. Sasha grabbed a folded blanket that was sitting on one of the benches and brought it over to the table in the center, setting it down.

        "Ymir and Krista left this here. They said that we should all make the final touches together." Marco squeezed Jean's hand and Jean squeezed back. This was it, he thought. This was the perfect plan to fix everything.

        "They did a damn good job, that's for sure." Reiner exclaimed, running his hand over the walls. Everyone hummed in agreement and they all stood there in silence, savoring the moment. Several minutes passed with not a word uttered before Reiner finally let out a satisfied sigh and took one last look around. "Guess I'd better get to work." He muttered as he made his way to the door. They all hummed in response and watched him leave.

        Time passed slowly but no one was complaining. It was a quiet but blissful moment with the cool breeze that swayed the leaves of the trees causing shadows to dance across the walls. The smell of food cooking and the low humming from Reiner was surprisingly relaxing. The guy could sing, that was for sure.

        Like Reiner said, Annie and Bertholdt were the first to arrive. Jean heard the crunching of leaves as they walked up the path and walked outside to see them standing by Reiner, watching him and chatting quietly. Annie looked up and met Jean's eyes and he waved awkwardly, not sure if he should go down and join them or not. Sasha and Connie didn't seem to care, though and were eager to greet the newcomers. They dashed for the ladder but Jean stayed behind, simply watching instead as they're feet hit the ground with a thud and they dashed over to the group. Moments later, Marco came out to join Jean on the porch and sighed contently, resting his chin on Jean's shoulder.

        "It's happening..." he whispered.

        "It's happening." Jean glanced at Marco's face, meeting his eyes. The two stared at each other for several moments before they were interrupted by Sasha yelling Jean's name.

        "C'mon, Jean! Don't be a stranger!" She coaxed. Jean rolled his eyes and Marco chuckled, moving his face away from Jean's. Together they moved down the ladder and to the ground, slowly walking to the group. Bertholdt gave a shy wave that Jean returned with equal awkwardness. He wasn't sure what any of them were talking about but for some reason it still felt right for him to be there. Like he  _belonged_  next to them and it made his stomach churn. Nervous, he reached for Marco who grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers with a squeeze.

       It didn't take much longer for Mikasa, Eren and Armin to make their way through the woods to join the gathering. They easily fit themselves into the group and were quick to contribute to conversation, cracking a few jokes here and there. The air was filled with laughter and stories and Jean found himself feeling relieved. He'd expected the night to be awkward and tense with maybe a fight or two making this moment a fucking  _miracle._

       "Alright! Foods up!" Reiner announced as he piled different assortments of meats onto some paper plates. The group, much to Jean's dismay, broke up as everyone began to make their plates. Unfortunately, no one thought to provide chairs so everyone just stood around awkwardly, not really sure where to go until Connie piped up, pulling Sasha to the tree house.

      "C'mon, guys! You've  _gotta_ see how Ymir and Krista did the place! They helped us clean up and decorated it a little and it looks  _wicked awesome!"_   Everyone laughed and followed him, carefully climbing the ladder plates in hand. It took a while for everyone to get up and a few lost a bit of food but no one seemed upset by it. Once Jean walked through the curtain he found the small room to be even better when filled with all of his friends. He stared around the room in awe and had to admit that the feeling was almost enough to cry over.  _Almost_ meaning he was a man with some damn pride and didn't want to do that right now and ruin everyone's damn day. He wasn't  _that_ selfish.

     The get together was short lived, but a success nonetheless. Exams were coming up so no one wanted to stay out too late but Reiner was quick to suggest that once exams were over they would have another barbecue to celebrate. Everyone cheered, laughing and Sasha speed walked to the center, yelling to get everyone's attention.

     "Hold on! Don't leave yet! There's one last thing we all need to do. Today marks a new beginning and as you may have noticed, everything here is new. Even you guys are new! I mean, c'mon, we're not those snot faced kids everyone pretended to hate but secretly adored because we were cute as hell!" Sasha exclaimed, grabbing Connie.

      "Damn right!" He shouted. Everyone let out a few giggles and the two waited for the room to fall silent again before continuing.

     "Well, everything in here  _is_ new, in a sense. All but one thing. The tires." Sasha stepped aside, gesturing to the tires. An almost sad air filled the room and Eren had a pained expression before looking down. Jean shifted and Sasha swallowed, turning her head back to face everyone. "Yea... it's still the same. The last person to reign on these tires was Marco and I think he was pretty damn happy about getting that chance..." Jean looked to the floor and felt Marco squeeze his hand but he couldn't bear to meet his eyes. Sasha cleared her throat with a sad expression but quickly switched it back to her usual care free and happy one. "However, the past is the past. We will always remember Marco and love him for what he was. But we must also move on. We all have regrets and I know that several of you are still holding on to those a little too tightly, but today I want us to all move on. Together. This old blanket is filled with holes and stains, it doesn't feel right on these tires. So! We're going to switch it out with a newer blanket, together. A new blanket for a new beginning that we start with _each other_." She held up the blanket and everyone clapped, moving forward to each hold some part of the blanket. Connie pulled the old one off of the tires and set it down before joining the group around the new one. They draped it over the tires and stepped back, admiring it.

     "A new beginning..." Marco whispered. Jean turned to Marco and noticed his misty eyes. He swallowed and elbowed him.

     "C'mon, don't cry! This is supposed to be a happy moment."

     "Shut up! I'm not crying..." Marco muttered, rubbing at his eyes. Jean chuckled and looked back at the tires. Everyone gradually began to say their goodbyes and leave but Eren stayed behind, assuring Armin and Mikasa that he would catch up. Once everyone had left he approached Jean, clearing his throat.

     "Hey, Jean..." He said awkwardly and shifted his feet, scratching the back of his head.

     "Oh! Hey, Eren..."

     "Listen, man... You know how Sasha was talking about letting all of our regrets go? Well, I've got a pretty big one."

     "You... you do?" Jean raised an eyebrow and shifted to face Eren.

     "Yea... It's just... I'm just... I'm sorry... I'm really  _really_ fuckin' sorry..."

      "What the hell? What do you have to be sorry for?"

      "It was  _my_ fault that Marco died, Jean. It was completely my fault and he was your best friend, right? You two practically lived just to see each other but-" Jean stepped forward, confused and Eren stared at him, wide eyed and shocked by the sudden advance.

      "Hold the fuck on, what do you mean it was  _your_ fault? You had nothing to do with that, you-" Eren lunged forward grabbing Jean by the shirt.

      "Yes I did! I did and it was  _my_ fucking fault that Marco got hit by that damn truck! I got you mad, I picked a fight,  _I_ made you run!" Jean stood there, dumbfounded as Eren hunched over, breathing heavily with broken sobs. He felt Eren's tears soak through his shirt and felt his own threaten to fall. "I made you run, then Marco chased you and I made you so fucking upset that Marco got so upset that he couldn't think clearly enough to not cross that damn road! I was such a damn impatient and shitty brat and I took it too far and now  _Marco's dead!_ Marco was so fucking smart and such a nice kid with dreams and goals who would probably be passing high school with all A's and surrounded by people he loved but  _I killed him!_ " Jean heard a choked sob and turned his head towards the door to see Marco there, crying. Fuck, what was he supposed to do? Both of his friends are sitting here sobbing their fucking hearts out and he had no idea what he was supposed to  _do_ about it.

      "I- I didn't know... I thought... I thought that was my-" Jean stumbled over his words and his lip trembled. He furrowed his brows, trying not to cry but it was useless. Eren sniffed and raised his head, wiping his face with his sleeve.

      "I'm sorry. Don't tell anyone, okay?" He mumbled. He focused his puffy eyes on the tires with a soft gaze, sniffling.

      "...Yea, but... Eren... Marco's... Marco's right here."

      "Yea, yea I know... 'He's in our hearts' 'He'll always be with you', I've heard that already."

      "No, like... He's literally  _right here._ " Eren stared at him, confused as Jean gestured randomly with his hands.

      "Are you talking about the tires? I mean, I guess it counts as a memorial, but-"

      "No, no, he's.... He's literally standing at the door  _right fucking now_ all... all...  _crying_ and shit, like he always used to, remember?" Eren stared at the door where Marco stood, staring at him hopefully, his eyes still misty. Eren looked back and forth between Jean and Marco before smiling sympathetically and reaching out to squeeze Jean's shoulder.

      "Thanks, man. I appreciate that. It felt good to finally to tell you all that, guess this really was a good idea. I'll thank Sasha and Connie tomorrow. Please, don't tell anyone what I said, okay?" Jean stared at Eren, dumbfounded as he slowly walked towards Marco and the door. Marco froze and shifted out of the way, watching Eren leave.

      "Oh... oh my god, holy shit... Marco, I..." He watched in horror as Marco's legs gave out and he fell to the floor with a thud and a choked sob. He leaned over, his body shaking.

      "Marco, they can't see you... I'm the only one who can see you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW okay this took way longer than was actually necessary. I kind of forgot I even had fics for a few months tbh lmao. But its spring break right now and even though it's almost over I'm writing all I can to make up for it \o/ so super sorry about the wait and I hope my writing didn't go to shit while I was gone.  
>  Side note: lmao Jean thought he was the only one who blamed himself but oh boy was he wrong... he's gonna be in for quite a few surprises :)


End file.
